Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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