So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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