my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
