Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
