He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
