we're blogging at a bar
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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