I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
