You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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