Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
