Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
