i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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