just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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