and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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