yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
