"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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