Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
