so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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