If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I fill condoms, not promises.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
