Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
