You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
