If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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