i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I need to calm my uterus...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
