Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize