Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
