turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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