Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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