You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
