If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
