he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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