I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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