How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
it's great music for shaving your balls
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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