Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
