Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
