Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i've created a new STD.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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