Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
