Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
