the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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