she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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