Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize