hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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