Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
