do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
