I don't think brook has ever known best
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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