Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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