its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Say something about gay babies.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
