guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
