its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
