4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
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