I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
