Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
