So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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