matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize