If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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