i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize