you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
