I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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