that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
