We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
