How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Pooping to opera.
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