You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
