you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
