Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
