We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
