ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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