why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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