I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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